


whoever strikes the heart wins

by atomicwonderwoman



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, I think?, M/M, mention iwaoi, mentions of Sawamura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 16:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6383707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atomicwonderwoman/pseuds/atomicwonderwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>In between the motions, Kuroo glances in the direction of the common room, where Oikawa sits at the central spot of the table and talks loudly, fitting in effortlessly. He notices him looking and winks. Tetsurou looks away with his cheeks warm. He understands why Bokuto is so interested. There’s something about Oikawa that he can’t put his finger on. Also it doesn’t hurt that he’s tall, lean, dark-haired and pretty - exactly Bokuto’s type. Out of the corner of his eye he notices Bokuto turn to look at Oikawa unabashedly when he stirs the sauce. Curious indeed.</i><br/> </p><p>This time it's Kuroo who can't see what's right in front of him and Bokuto is not an idiot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	whoever strikes the heart wins

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. listen to this because it's genius  x  
> 2\. I stuffed here like most of my headcanons  
> 3\. Bokuto is not an idiot  
> 4\. I'm in bokuroo hell, send help

They are in the small kitchenette, cutting vegetables and meat for what Sawamura (unfairly) dubbed “the great curry disaster” at the training camp. In his defence, it was before he even tried it. Once he did, he apologised to them profusely but the name stuck. There’s a low hum of voices coming from the common space where the others are seated but he barely registers it, only when a laugh resonates it’s a bit harder to ignore. They work next to each other with their elbows brushing when one of them reaches for new ingredient. It’s cramped but it’s Bokuto so there’s no wonder why he feels so comfortable at his side.

Sawamura was the one to suggest it, actually. Tetsurou was hanging out with Bokuto earlier, having already unpacked his belongings in the tiny room that will be his home for the most part of upcoming year. Bokuto arrived later so he helped him with putting away the abundance of stuff he deemed necessary for his stay at college. It was mostly memorabilia from high school and way too many owl-themed collectibles. And volleyball gear. A lot of volleyball gear. With his help, Bokuto was mostly done when Sawamura knocked on the door.

“And what brings you to this humble abode?” He asked as he opened the door.

If Sawamura was at all surprised to find him at Bokuto’s, he didn’t let it show.

“I was thinking about putting together a dinner for some people who live on my floor, you in?”

“Bo?” he called over his shoulder.

Bokuto grinned at him with his hands on his hips.

“Under one condition, _Sawamura-kun_ ” he sang. “We’re cooking.”

Daichi looked between the two of them and shrugged.

“I was actually counting on it.”

And just like that they found themselves cooking for the group of people that has already gathered. Fully concentrated on chopping his tomatoes, he doesn’t notice the commotion at first. It’s Bokuto who literally shakes him out of his focus. He almost cuts himself and is about to yell at his friend but the dreamy look on Bokuto’s face stops him.

“Who’s that?” He asks awestruck and Tetsurou follows his line of view. Someone new appeared, a tall, lean guy with chocolate brown hair in a carefully maintained mess. He can’t really see his face but he’s talking to Sawamura and that gives him a good idea about his identity.

“That’s Oikawa, I think. He was supposed to be late. He used to be Aoba Johsai’s captain, they got beaten by Karasuno in spring high, remember?” he replies and goes back to chopping the tomatoes. Bokuto hums and reluctantly resumes his task. In between the motions, Kuroo glances in the direction of the common room, where Oikawa sits at the central spot of the table and talks loudly, fitting in effortlessly. He notices him looking and winks. Tetsurou looks away with his cheeks warm. He understands why Bokuto is so interested. There’s something about Oikawa that he can’t put his finger on. Also it doesn’t hurt that he’s tall, lean, dark-haired and pretty - exactly Bokuto’s type. Out of the corner of his eye he notices Bokuto turn to look at Oikawa unabashedly when he stirs the sauce. Curious indeed.

::::

Despite all the expectations (and hours of Bokuto’s whining), he doesn’t join the volleyball team, choosing boxing instead. He’s got good reflexes and all the training he did when he played volley didn’t go to waste so he gets decent pretty quickly. But giving up volleyball and the classes he takes, on completely different course than Bokuto, takes its toll on their friendship. They talk, they hang out but they don’t have so much time anymore and Bokuto insists on spending all the time he can at the court so it’s natural when a whole week can go by and they don’t see each other at all.

One of those weeks Bokuto calls him out of the blue in between classes.

“Guess what?” He asks. Tetsurou smiles at the energy in his voice, sipping his second coffee and mentally calculates the lowest amount of sleep he needs to function.

“No idea” he replies, feigning interest as he pours over his homework, cursing both his overeager professor and the essays he assigned them ‘ _to deepen their understanding of the subject_ ’. So far he only understood that some university professors had either too much time on their hands or too many TAs.

“We’re hanging out with Oikawa tomorrow!” Bokuto says excitedly. “He’s got some time over lunch break and I know you don’t have classes then so I figured I’d spend more time with my new setter and my best bro.”

Tetsurou can’t help smiling a little wider at that. He will have a free period and he does miss Bo more than he’d like to admit it. Oikawa is just an added bonus. Or so he tells himself.

::::

The next morning he wakes up uncharacteristically early and decides to hit the gym. If he’s punching a little stronger and more accurately than usual he just chalks it up to finally getting enough sleep after his morning class was cancelled. Nothing at all to do with the fact that he’s seeing Bokuto and Oikawa today. Nothing. But he is particularly good and even his coach notices it. He thanks for the praise and hits the showers with over an hour to spare before he’s to meet with Bo and Oikawa. He doesn’t even pretend that he’s not putting in an effort to look good, not when he’s wearing tight jeans that accentuate his thighs and loosely fitting, burgundy v-neck. He shaves carefully and sprinkles some of his favourite cologne. After short consideration he rolls up the sleeves and puts on a watch. Satisfied, he smooths his sweater, grabs his phone and keys and leaves his room.

He doesn’t hurry on his way. He should be on time and even if he’s a little late they wouldn’t mind. As he reaches the cafe, he sees Oikawa through the window, listening to Bokuto who’s talking animatedly, making full use of his arms, dangerously close to the vase with flowers. Oikawa covertly moves it so that it’s out of Bokuto’s reach. Tetsurou quirks his lips at that, enters the cafe and heads to their table. Oikawa notices him first and he can swear there’s something akin to hunger in the way he watches him approach. He smirks and puts a finger to his lips then he walks behind Bokuto and whispers “o ho ho?”.

Bokuto stops all his movements and tilts his head. Tetsurou is suddenly all too aware of the proximity of his lips so he pulls back and grins at Oikawa who’s watching him with amusement sparkling in his eyes.

“Yo” he greets Oikawa and shakes his hand. He’s about to sit when Bokuto stops him by putting his hand over his arm.

“Where’s my hug, bro?” He whines and Tetsurou is once again made aware of the power of his pout. Not that he needed to pout. He’d never deny himself a hug from Bokuto. They are always strong and warm because Bokuto is like a living furnance. And he always smells nice. So he leans in but Bokuto stands up from his chair and hugs him properly. He smiles softly despite his lungs being crushed and if their hug lingers for too long for it to be regarded as platonic, he can’t bring himself to care. They pull apart when the waitress comes. He orders his coffee, black with no sugar (Oikawa scrunches his nose which makes him look downright adorable) and finally he takes his seat.

“Are Kou-chan’s hugs that good?” Oikawa quips innocently.

“Have you seen him?” Tetsurou replies, motioning to Bokuto who puffs his chest.

“Yes, I caught a glimpse or two. But I loathe to say, despite all my perfect tosses I’ve yet to experience the magic of Kou-chan’s hugs” he admits with fake somberness, staring intently at his nails.

“His last setter wasn’t big on physical contact. But if you’re into that I’m sure he’ll comply” Tetsurou says conspiratorially.

Bokuto nods energetically and raises from his seat.

“No, not now” Oikawa waves his hand dismissively. “It’s too crowded anyways.”

Bokuto sits down and the silence falls upon the table, interrupted by Bokuto’s slurping. Tetsurou takes this opportunity to take a look at Oikawa as he drinks his coffee, with his little finger pulled back. His hair surround his face in soft curls and the teal longsleeve top compliments him. He supposes Oikawa is one of those people who take a lot of care in the way they present themselves to the world and the suspicion that he may have tried harder because he was seeing him was flattering. Very flattering. Bokuto also isn’t holding back - his black t-shirt is just tight enough to show off his hard earned pectorals and he recognises the jacket hung on the back of his chair as the exact same one Tetsurou advised him to wear on one of his dates.

His coffee arrives and he breaks the silence to ask Oikawa how he’s enjoying Tokyo so far then about his classes and the course he’s taking. When he starts talking about astrophysics his eyes get even brighter and his shoulders relax completely making Tetsurou wonder about the amount of  work Oikawa puts into the way people perceive him and how it took just a mention of the thing he loves for his mask to crack slightly. It is so unlike Bokuto who’s never hid anything in all the years Tetsurou has known him. But that means that there is a mystery of the real Oikawa Tooru to crack and _this_ is getting him more and more hooked on the boy. As he catches Bokuto’s eyes he realises that it isn’t just him. There’s a competitive glint in Koutarou’s eyes. He wiggles his brows, Koutarou winks. Good thing he always liked a challenge.

::::

Bokuto is on the same team as Oikawa what gives him more opportunities to be around him. The fact that the practices are full of sweaty, muscular guys who work their asses off and then take showers together and that they are spiker and a setter duo is an unfair advantage. But Tetsurou knows that there’s nothing Bokuto loves more than volleyball and something as stupid as a crush would never distract him from it. But that’s still more time than Tetsurou has and if he wants to meet Tooru he has to come up with some reason, make an arrangement and it makes him squirm deep inside, his entire being affronted by the mere idea of putting himself out there.

Yet, when he notices a poster advertising the Star Wars marathon at the local cinema, he thanks his lucky stars, snaps a picture and sends it to Tooru immediately. He doesn’t have to wait for reply, all in caps with an abundance of emojis. He pockets his phone and walks on with a newfound spring in his step, whistling.

::::

On that day at the cafe he was challenged and he wants to win so he needs to bring his A-game at all times. Less chances to meet mean that when they do actually see each other, he has to make a lasting impression on Oikawa. Therefore, he prepares. He washes his outfit beforehand, even borrows an iron from Sawamura and smooths his shirts and pants, rendering Sawamura speechless. He shines his shoes and sets them neatly near the door. He cleans up the mess in his room in case Oikawa would like to visit afterwards. He goes to the barber the day before, in the vain attempt to do something with his bedhead but alas to no effect. At least when his hair is shorter it looks more like deliberate choice than the effect of bad sleeping habits.

When he goes to the cinema, twenty minutes early, hoping to talk to Oikawa before the movie, he does not expect to see Bokuto there, clad in a dress shirt, pacing in front of the entrance, drumming his fingers on his thigh. He wants to be angry. He wants to yell at Bokuto or get him to go away. But it’s Bokuto so he’s only mildly irritated. They haven’t talked in a while and he feels a twinge of guilt but he shakes it off and walks over to Bo.

“Looking good” he whistles and Koutarou lits up.

“Thanks!” He beams and sizes him up. “You too, bro.”

He just nods but feels warmth at the back of his neck so he rubs the spot. They don’t say much afterwards, he chooses to look anywhere but at Bokuto who in turn keeps pacing and fiddling with his fingers, toying with his phone just for the sake of doing anything but staying still for too long.

“It’s been a while” Bokuto breaks the silence and stops.

“Yeah but you have practice and classes and my coach is running me to the ground”  Tetsurou replies with a shrug.

Bokuto senses that it’s not exactly true but doesn’t say anything just leans on the wall opposite to Kuroo and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans not without some difficulty. They must be really tight, Tetsurou thinks. They are silent again but there’s this new tension in the air and he’s grateful when Bokuto breaks again.

“That’s ridiculous” he exclaims and Tetsurou nods. “Game night, my room, this Saturday? Just the two of us, the epic game of bro versus bro”

“Deal” Tetsurou grins. Koutarou’s eyes shine brightly under the streetlight and his chest feels tight but in a better sense than before.

Soon Oikawa joins them, hooks his arms with both of them and pulls them to the cinema with a bright smile and sparkly eyes.

When he gets back from the cinema he orders a limited edition Star Wars poster he’s been eyeing for the last two days, the feeling of Oikawa’s fingers gripping his wrist still fresh in his mind.

::::

Saturday evening arrives and he’s at Bokuto’s door, arms filled with snacks and beer. Koutarou opens the door and frowns.

“I thought we’d cook something” he pouts.

Tetsurou puts away the food and reveals the pot they use for “the great curry disaster” filled with ingredients, making Bokuto grin so wide he’s afraid his cheeks will burst.

“Of course we’re gonna cook” he smirks. “It’s a tradition, isn’t it?”

They go to the kitchenette at Bokuto’s floor and spread out with all the ingredients and utensils. It was easy to fall in the rhythm perfected through years from the very first training camp in high school when they were first assigned to cook together. They didn’t know each other well, all he knew about Bokuto was that he had disastrously dyed hair that he kept spiking up and that he was a new wing spiker from Fukurodani. They didn’t play against each other much. Bokuto was still unpolished and way too moody for the official setter and Tetsurou was tall but he was not good enough to make the first string. Kitchen duty was a punishment for him for sassing his seniors, Bokuto volounteered. As he dragged himself to the kitchen that day he didn’t expect to see a guy with awful dye job excitedly chop the vegetables, barely avoiding cutting his fingers off. He quickly took the knife away from him and finished the job himself, leaving the rest to Bokuto. The first curry they made was an actual disaster and ended up poisoning most of the team. It did however become the rite of passage for the first years the following year. The best thing that came out of it, despite the yelling and fuss, was that very few things bonded people better than scrubbing the floors for the rest of the week. They left the camp with each other’s numbers and promise to meet for a practice sometime in the following week.

Bokuto is responsible for rice and meat. He doesn’t know how it happens but whenever Bokuto works with the meat, it turns out much better than when he tries to prepare it himself. Even if he did everything the same way Bokuto did. On the other hand, Bokuto has cut himself enough times to leave vegetables to Tetsurou. They take turns watching the sauce and once it was ready they serve it to the group of  people that has gathered in the meantime. It’s unavoidable. Since they perfected the recipe for their curry, they always had to prepare more because it was never enough, not when people were brought by the delicious smell. It gives Tetsurou a sense of accomplishment, the knowledge that his cooking is so good people come out on their own to eat the food he prepared.

Much later, he’s sitting on the floor of Bokuto’s room. Koutarou completely crushed him at Mario Kart and they played some online shooting game afterwards but got bored and turned on some show. Tetsurou tries to focus but he is getting tired and Koutarou is already leaning on him and snoring quietly with his head on Tetsurou’s shoulder. Tetsurou runs his hand through Bokuto’s hair, marvelling at its softness when it isn’t covered in gel. The TV is humming but he gives up trying to focus, instead he shifts so that Bokuto’s back is pressing in his chest. He likes watching Bokuto sleep, no matter how creepy it sounds. This is the only moment when he can properly admire him, finally in one place, not bouncing around. He brushes a lock of hair off Bokuto’s forehead, letting his hand linger on his cheek. Bokuto actually leans into the touch in his sleep making Kuroo’s heart skip a beat. He bites his lips and takes a deep breath. The light from the TV illuminates the freckles on Bokuto’s nose that are usually unnoticeable. Tetsurou knows that if he keeps it up they’re going to wake up tomorrow sore from sleeping on the floor so he lifts Bokuto with some difficulty and lays him on his bed. He’s about to get himself a futon but Bokuto grabs his hand in a dead-like grip, mumbling quietly. Tetsurou sighs and lies next to him. He’s missed it. A lot.

::::

The poster arrives and Tetsurou is faced with the dilemma of how to actually deliver it to Tooru. He doesn’t want to just go to his room and give it to him like that. No, it has to look effortlessly enough, cool. He can do cool, he’s the embodiment of cool. That’s what he tells himself when he’s waiting outside the physics building for Tooru to finish his class. It’s getting cold, he’s trembling and when the gust of wind hits him, he regrets choosing the better looking leather jacket over his coat. But he’s got to look cool. After half an hour of pointless waiting he decides to get a cup of coffee and goes back to his spot. Thankfully, Oikawa is leaving the building as he arrives so it’s not painfully obvious that he’s been waiting for him. He’s surrounded by friends but when he spots him he waves them goodbye and walks over to him.

“Tetsu-chan!” He says cheerfully but his eyes are calculating. Tetsurou knows he’s suspecting something but still he hugs him tight as a greeting.

“I’ve been just passing the building and I saw you” he replies nonchalantly. Tooru nods but doesn’t look convinced. They both know he doesn’t have any classes anywhere near physics department. Kuroo doesn’t budge despite his heart beating far too quickly for it to be healthy. He pulls out the rolled-up poster from behind him.

“If you must know, I _did_ hope to see you” he admits reluctantly, rolling his eyes. “Look what I found.”

He shows Tooru the poster. No matter what Tooru thought, once he sees the poster, it loses all the significance. His eyes light up, his fingers shake a little when he lifts them to touch the poster.

“Is this?” He whispers, grasping the poster tightly.

“Yes. And it’s for you.”

He thinks that the smile that he gets in response could rival Bokuto’s when the winning spike hits the court.

“For me?” Tooru asks disbelievingly.

“It made me think of  you and I’m not that much of a fan anyway” he shrugs. Tooru rolls the poster back carefully and wraps his arms around Tetsurou’s neck nearly suffocating him.

“Thank you!” He says and kisses Tetsurou’s cheek. “I gotta go but thanks Tetsu-chan!”

He runs off, after the group, leaving Kuroo alone in the cold. He touches the cheek on the spot where Tooru’s lips touched it. It's warm and wet and his heart is beating much faster than before.

::::

“Did you and Kou-chan have a fight?” Oikawa asks, stirring his coffee. They are at the cafe at the train station. Tooru is going back to Miyagi for a weekend and Tetsurou offered to walk him to the train as soon as he mentioned it. It had earned him a weird look but in the end Tooru seemed grateful for someone who’d help him carry his bags.

“I don’t think so” Tetsurou replies, thinking back to his recent interactions with Bokuto. There weren’t many of them but it’s not like they had much to catch up on and he couldn’t think of any serious arguments that could have occurred between them.

Tooru hums and drinks his coffee with furrowed brows. Tetsurou has a feeling that, in midst of all his chatter he's been entertaining him with so far, he’s getting to the real reason he wanted to hang out with him.

“It’s just-” Tooru says and bites his lip pensively. “There’s something off about Kou-chan, I don’t know. I thought that maybe you have fought or something, cause he’s no longer talking so much about you but if you say you’re fine…”

“Maybe he’s just stressed before that game against Ushiwaka that’s coming up? He did want to beat him pretty bad in high school.” Tetsurou offers. Oikawa nods but looks unconvinced.

The buzz of Tetsurou’s phone interrupts them.

“Speak of the devil” Tetsurou says.

“Aren’t you gonna answer him?” Tooru asks when Tetsurou swipes the screen to dismiss the call.

“Nah, it’s not like it’s anything important” he shrugs. “He probably just found another owl fact that he can’t wait  to share or something, I’ll call him back later. What _is_ important, though,” he wiggles his eyebrows and continues “is the reason why you’re going to Miyagi when the game against Ushiwaka is so soon. Isn’t he your arch-nemesis or something?”

Oikawa shakes his head. “That would be Tobio-chan. As for me going home, let’s just say that one of my friends is also coming home and I haven’t seen him in ages and I miss him a lot” he bites his lips and there's a new fondness in his voice that Tetsurou didn't have a chance to hear yet and a little smile graces his lips. He sounds so honest, so unguarded, so _bare_. It makes him envious of that friend of Tooru’s, that person who can unravel him so easily without even being there but he tries not to let his face betray it and nods.

They drink their coffees in silence, his phone buzzes again with a message but he doesn’t check it, opting for watching Tooru get more and more restless in his seat as the time of his departure is nearing. He walks him to the platform and helps him get his bags into the compartment. He waits for the train to leave, stuffs his hands in his pockets when it’s out of sight and walks back to his dorm, thinking of the blush that covered Tooru’s cheeks at the mention of that friend of his. Was it just his friend or was there something more between them? And if there is where does it leave him? It could be just Tooru having feelings that go unreciprocated but then how could someone _not_ be in love with Tooru? On the other hand, if that person _is_ in love with Tooru as well then there was no way Tetsurou would get together with Tooru and the most frustrating part is that either way he can’t do anything about it so what’s the point in dwelling on it any longer? Yet he can’t keep his thoughts away from that little, gentle smile of Tooru’s.

In the midst of it all, he forgets to call Bokuto back. It’s not the first time and Bokuto doesn’t call again so it must not have been very important anyway.

::::

He receives a text from Tooru to meet him near the locker rooms after the game. Their team wins, of course they do, the duet of Tooru and Bokuto successfully crushes Ushiwaka to the ground. He’s cheering on them from the stands feeling proud for both of them. They are his boys, killing it on the court. After the final whistle he makes his way to the corridor. He waits for the other team members to leave and once he’s sure Tooru is most likely alone, he enters.

Tooru and Koutarou are the only ones left. He stands in the doorway and watches them chat as they change from their uniforms.

“The last spike though. It was like whoosh, die Ushiwaka!” Bokuto says with his eyes shining. “It was the best feeling in the world!”

He hugs Tooru and gives him a smooch. And well. Tetsurou knows that he shouldn’t be jealous. That it’s innocent. Like the glint in Bokuto’s eyes when he notices him isn’t victorious or something. He’s just happy because he has just beaten one of the few spikers rated higher than him. And he keeps Tooru close because he’s just that kind of a guy. And when he smooches Tooru again, grabbing his face with both of his hands, it’s just the victory kiss. It’s nothing. He probably did them with Akaashi too, like all the time.

But then there’s this tiny voice at the back of his head that tells him that maybe this is Bokuto’s victory. That maybe it’s his way of showing him who’s on top. That maybe, just maybe, he knew that Tetsurou was there all along and he did it on purpose. The thing is that this voice is not so tiny and easy to ignore anymore. So he turns on his heel and leaves.

::::

“Tetsu?” Bokuto calls out, looking around. He hides under the bleachers but it doesn’t matter. Bokuto has something akin to a sixth sense when it comes to him. He spots him immediately, his face lits up and he offers his hand.

Tetsurou pulls himself up but he doesn’t speak, doesn’t even look at Kotarou. He pulls his lips into a tight line and balls his fists. Bokuto sighs.

“Listen Tetsu, I don’t know what pissed you off, but can we just move on?”

Tetsurou scoffs. “Of course you don’t know.”

“Is it because I kissed Tooru? You know I do this kind of stuff.”

“Tooru, huh?”

“Tetsu…”

“No!” He yells. “Don’t you ‘Tetsu’ me, ok? You knew I liked him. But you had to be there at all times, didn’t you? You had to be there, AT ALL FUCKING TIMES. I made plans with him? There you are! I talk to him? You suddenly appear! So conveniently dragging him away for another spiking practice! I can’t even talk to him without you somehow managing to put yourself there, be it with a text or a call. And he’s Tooru now, of course he is Tooru now. The Tooru you casually kiss after victorious game, like you do with all of your setters, right?”

He’s seething and he can’t pinpoint why, he just can’t help himself. He doesn’t know how he drove Bokuto to the wall. Or how he ended up punching the spot right next to Bokuto’s head. But he pulls back, breathing heavily and looks at Bokuto. For the first time since he met him, he’s completely still. He looks pale but maybe it’s just the lightning. But there’s something wrong with his eyes. They’re not bright anymore. He sees the droplet of blood on Bokuto’s lip from biting so hard. He’s about to say something but Bokuto speaks first.

“Are you done?” He asks, his voice barely louder than a whisper. Tetsurou wants to yell but he can’t, not with Bokuto being like this. He nods and Kotarou continues in the same quiet manner, filling Tetsurou with dread.

“When I first met you in that kitchen on our first training camp you took a knife out of my hand when I was about to accidentally cut my finger off. That was the moment I knew we were going to become the best friends to ever exist. Like ever. And we were. We were like soulmates, I don’t know. I thought, that’s it, he’s it. And we made each other better. We made each other so good we became captains in our last year of high school despite playing on different teams. And then college happened. I thought, hey, it’s not gonna get any better than that, right? We’re in the same school, we live in the same building, we’re gonna be fucking _golden_ ” he chuckled bitterly. “But then Tooru happened. And we stopped hanging out. We stopped talking. Suddenly we go for weeks without a single text and the only way I can reach you is if I go out with my setter! And then, guess what? I win the best fucking game in my life and I celebrate the only way I know and what do you do? You throw a hissy fit. I saw that there was something off about you recently, but this? It’s fucked up, bro” Bokuto shakes his head. “I don’t get you at all anymore. So why don’t we just, I don’t know stop talking to each other? Like until you get your head out of your ass and actually see what’s going on?”

Tetsurou feels something churn in his stomach and takes a step back. Something is off about Bokuto, there’s something he’s never seen before in his face and he wonders why it feels as if it’s him who screwed up, why is he feeling so guilty and why is Bokuto so calm, so collected when he’s practically telling him that they are not gonna be friends anymore.

As he looks at Bokuto’s face again, the hurt in his eyes, it hits him that he’s just done it. Among all the shit he did he had never screwed up so bad. He’d never thought that there would be something that could drive him and Bokuto apart. But as he sees the resolve in his eyes, determination he only ever saw on court, his arms are crossed while, despite all his words, his back is hunched and he looks so defeated that Tetsurou just can’t stay there, not when he’s the reason it all went down the way it did. So he runs away, passing the locker rooms without the second glance, to the exit and then to his dorm.

Anywhere but away from what he’s done. Away from the silent sobs that haunt him on the way.

::::

At first glance not much changes. He goes to his classes, spends the rest of the time at the gym, boxing until he can no longer lift his arms. Once he comes back to his dorm, he flops on his bed, curls into a ball and sleeps for a few hours until he inevitably wakes up just before dawn and does his homework.

But, as the time goes on, he stays longer at the gym, sleeps less and the classes don’t seem that important anymore. He’s startled a bit when he realises that it’s been ages since he last went out or did anything other than go to class, box and sleep.

Sawamura is the first one to notice that something’s wrong. At first he’s angry but, faced with Tetsurou’s lack of response, something in his expression changes and the angry frown turns into a worried one. He thinks that Sawamura must have talked to Bokuto because one day, when he comes over with food, he looks at him the way he must have looked at Karasuno’s first years when they screwed up especially bad. It’s the look he got from his father when he was little, the one when he was so thoroughly done with whatever he did but he was still his little Tetsu, the perfect mixture of disappointment, exhaustion and above all worry because, no matter what his crime, he was his responsibility and he loved him. He didn’t want to know how Sawamura perfected that look or why he thought that it was applicable to him.

He notices that his clothes start to get loose but he can’t bring himself to care. This moment probably correlates with the time when Sawamura starts regularly bringing him food but he doesn’t have the appetite. Not even when it’s his favourite. He just takes a few bites and leaves the rest on the plate for Sawamura to collect later, earning him the same, quiet sigh.

His coach forbids him from entering the gym until he puts on some weight so he resigns himself to sleeping most of the day off. He’s not even bothered. He's just numb because there’s nothing he really cares about anymore. Not when there’s this enormous, Bokuto-shaped hole in his life taking all of his attention. Not when he can’t call his best bro or text him or do really anything with him. Nothing really is important when Bokuto isn’t there to witness it or participate in it. He wonders how it took him so long to notice just how big of a role in his life Bokuto played. Or why he had to leave to make him see it.

It’s funny how all the thoughts about Tooru disappear somewhere along the way and he lets out a chuckle when he rejects his another offer to meet. There’s no point to it anymore.

One evening he finds a forgotten bottle of vodka in his freezer. It’s unopened and pleasantly cool so he figures there’s no harm in taking a sip. Or two. Or pouring himself half of a glass and filling the rest with juice. He then comes to conclusion that aiming to the glass is too difficult so he just downs the bottle. Soon, he's sitting on his floor with the empty bottle in his hand and something breaks inside him and he reaches out for the phone, stifling a sob. Before he can stop himself, he texts Bokuto.

_im sry bo_

_i miss u_

_i need u_

The phone buzzes, startling him. He drops it and then slowly lifts it up. He can’t believe his eyes when he sees ‘ _Bokuto is calling_ ’ on the display but he clumsily swipes to answer while he still can control his movements.

“Is it really you?” he asks disbelievingly.

“Yeah” Bokuto replies somehow subdued. Tetsurou sobs at that because this is not the voice that Koutarou should use. He should be loud, confident, excited.

“I’m so sorry, Bo” he says. “I can’t believe I was such an idiot. I miss you Bo, I miss you so much” he breaks into sobs, his crying unsubdued and undignified.

Bokuto doesn’t speak for a moment and Tetsurou feels a lump raise in his throat but then there’s someone knocking on his door. He drops his phone again and walks over to the door to open it. He thinks he must be hallucinating because Bokuto is standing on his doorstep. He drops his hands to his sides and feels limp but, before he falls, strong arms catch him and pull his body to wide chest, resting his head on Bokuto’s shoulder.

“Am I dreaming?” he whispers, raising his hand to touch Bokuto.

“Nope” Bokuto replies softly and it hits him that this is Bokuto, his Bokuto holding him like something fragile, like he was precious, cradling him for fuck’s sake and it’s ridiculous. He sobs and laughs at the same time because it’s impossible, Bokuto can’t be here. Bokuto wouldn’t come, he hates him. It must be Sawamura or someone, taking pity on him. But he looks up and sure enough it’s Bokuto looking at him with bewilderment. And he breaks again this night.

“Oh my god, Bokuto, I missed you so much. Fuck” he laughs. “I missed you so much, you wouldn’t believe just how much I missed you. It was like, I don't know, like I was in love with you or something” he stops at that and entertains the thought. Was he in love with Bokuto? Was it the reason it felt so bad when they fought? Was it the real reason he was so jealous of Oikawa? He takes a step back and looks at Bokuto again with wide eyes, startled by his revelation.

“I love you Bo” he says. It feels right to tell it out loud so he says it again. “I love you, Bokuto Koutarou.”

Bokuto is watching him with a gentle smile as he breaks into giggles and keeps repeating “I love you, Bokuto, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Koutarou waits for him to calm down and takes his hand. “Finally, Tetsu” he says , rolling his eyes. “I love you too.”

Tetsurou feels like his heart is about to burst. It’s like a dream or something but it’s also so much more because it’s real. And there’s something in him unwinding and he realises he’s smiling. He can’t believe he could be this happy but there he is, in his shitty dorm room, drunk, wearing only some dirty t-shirt and boxers and Bokuto Kotarou, the love of his life is there, with him, holding his hand and saying that he loves him too.

He’s grinning and Bokuto, his lovely Bokuto, _his_ Bokuto is pulling him close again, squeezing him so tight he thinks he’ll suffocate. But it’s Bokuto so it’s fine. He’s being lifted from the floor and laid in his bed and Bokuto lays down with him, facing him with their foreheads and noses touching and linked hands, knees brushing against each other. He whispers that he loves Bokuto, who’s laughing and he revels in this sound, this quiet laugh, so free, so _Bokuto_ despite being barely audible. He falls asleep to the sound of Bokuto’s breathing with Bokuto’s arm draped around him, feeling like he’s just won something he never knew how much he needed.

  


_Epilogue_

They meet in front of Oikawa’s apartment. Bokuto’s classes ran long and Tetsurou didn’t have time to stop by their room before gym so they didn’t see each other at all since morning.

“And who are you, handsome?” Tetsurou winks as he walks to Kotarou.

“I’d tell you but my boyfriend would get jealous. He gets possessive like that” he replies with a fake frown.

“Now,” Tetsurou says when he wraps his arms around Koutarou’s waist “I’m not that possessive.”

“I’d argue. But I like this so it’s not much of a problem.”

They share a quick kiss and pull apart slightly with their foreheads touching.

“Missed you” Tetsurou mumbles.

“Me too.”

They enter the apartment holding hands, their backs straight and chins up. They make their way through the crowd, looking for the host. But it’s Oikawa who notices them first and he calls to them, waving at them to come over.

“Tetsu-chan, Kou-chan, so good that you could make it!” He yells over the music.

“Thanks for the invite!” Bokuto yells back.

Oikawa shakes his head and pulls them to another room where is a group of people seated on the couch. They make room for them but Oikawa decides to sit in the lap of a guy with short, spiky hair.

“Fuck, Trashkawa, did you put on weight?” He grumbles as Tooru makes himself comfortable.

“Iwa-chan!” He gasps, putting his hand on his chest. “How dare you!”

“He did” Kotarou grins. Iwa-chan quirks his eyebrow in amusement.

“Did he now?”

“Kou-chan!” Tooru squeaks but he’s ignored by everyone.

“Bokuto Kotarou” Bokuto introduced himself and motioned to Tetsurou. “And this is Kuroo Tetsurou.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime.”

“So, Iwaizumi-kun how do you know our resident princess?” Tetsurou asks.

“Since before I can remember, unfortunately, and it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna end anytime soon” he replied, looking fondly at Oikawa.

“O ho ho?” Bokuto says. Tetsurou picks up immediately.

“O ho ho ho?”

“Oh, shut up, you two” Oikawa groans. “You’re basically married.”

Tetsurou tilts his head and looks at Bokuto, pretending to consider Oikawa’s words. “I don’t know, Bo, what do you think?” He asks. Bokuto rests his chin on his fist.

“We already live together, have sex and cook and do most of the stuff married couples do” He counts on his fingers. “But we lack one, most vital component to marriage” he announces.

“Do I want to know?” Tooru sighs. Iwaizumi just looks at the two of them, feeling a weird sense of déjà vu.

“We need a cat.”

Tetsurou throws his head back and roars with laughter. It’s not that funny but the seriousness in Bokuto’s voice accompanied by his smiling eyes and his hand tickling his side are too much for him. And it’s Koutarou, who’s looking so proud of himself whenever he makes him laugh that he can overdo it a bit, just to see him puff up his chest, his own pride be damned.

“You see” he says when he calms down. “Not married at all.”

Tooru looks skeptically at his hand. He looks down and sure enough it’s linked with Bokuto’s. He looks back at Tooru and shrugs.

“Still can’t see it.”

Koutarou rubs his cheek with his nose and leans over his shoulder.

“I’ll show you just how married we are later” he breathes into his ear.

Tetsurou smirks. “I’m sure you will.”

 _fin_  


**Author's Note:**

> If you liked, leave a comment or a kudos I'll be eternally grateful
> 
> also I'm on [ tumblr](%E2%80%9Datomicwonderwoman.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D), feel free to talk


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